When we first start dating around the age of 16, we are not mature enough to know potential signs of abuse in a relationship. We are usually very excited that someone is attracted to us and wants to take us on a date. We dress up and look forward to this new experience. If you come from a healthy home environment then sometimes it can be difficult to be aware of the fact that this date might want to hurt you. We are usually in “lust” not love because we have not yet experienced real love.
These are the warning signs;
- Gets serious too fast and may tell you that they love you.
- Checks up on you through e-mails, text messages, Facebook, etc.
- Acts jealous or possessive of your other friendships or relationships with your family members.
- Tries to isolate you from people and doesn’t want to share.
- Can be very bossy or controlling. He or she wants to make all the decisions for you and not listen to your feelings.
- This person may have unpredictable moods and you worry about how to react with him or her.
- Your friends warn you and so does your family about this person
- This date will blame you for making him or her mad and not look at their behavior.
- This date may be using drugs or alcohol as an excuse for their abuse.
- This date will pressure you for sex even if you say no.
- This date will always apologize for their behavior if they hurt you physi
cally or emotionally by buying flowers or a gift.
If you experience any of these signs then break up immediately. Make sure you tell someone like a teacher, counselor, or parent what is happening. Let your trusted friend know where you are at all times. Do not break up in an isolated place. Try to have a friend or someone around that could help you if they are abusive. Keep a cell phone on for a crisis code word for your family or friend if you are in danger. Break up in a public place. Make sure you change your routine around since they will know it. Never get back together even if they say they changed and got help.
These are suggestions from experts on the cycle of violence and domestic violence.
If our parents live this life, then you are also repeating the same pattern because its familiar, but you don’t have too with the right information and knowledge. The next article will be about healthy relationships.
