Fishing for the perfect relationship
Ah, the great outdoors, it is so important to have the proper equipment for the experience. You wouldn’t want to be caught out in the woods without mosquito spray or hiking a mountain in flip-flops… you know the ones. The ones who don’t come prepared for the experience. Dating is no different there are rules to dating and it’s not complicated but most ignore their warning.
Rules of fishing for the perfect relationship:
1. Don’t get tangled in another person’s line
Observation – Give someone space to get to know you and your feelings, observe theirs, take the time to understand where they are coming from. Most relationships end before their time because of misunderstandings… missed opportunities to get to know each other better for the struggles sometimes are just a lesson in learning each other’s boundaries.
2. Share your bait and he will be your mate
Sharing – So often at the start of a relationship we are eager to please each other and don’t realize how much we give up our choices to the other person. This is like fishing with a baited hook, once they get used to you doing it you’re expected to never change. It’s a slippery worm that hides the hook, be mindful of what you do and what they do. Make sure it’s something you do with love forever!!
3. Don’t disturb the waters
Awareness – Now at first glance, this may sound like “walking on eggshells” actually it’s the opposite. Before you speak about what you’re feeling and how you see it, check to see if they are open to hearing your thoughts. Most people are more attached to being understood before they see if it’s possible to be understood, leading to misunderstandings and resentments. Be clear on what is yours and be accountable to how you share it.
4. If you bring a chair, expect to stay for a while
Mirroring – sometimes we pull out the unexpected in each other. When this happens don’t be in a hurry to pull in the big fish. It takes time to adjust to the new understanding, be patient and allow the feelings to exist. if you force understanding it can build deep resentments and long lasting damage.
5. Clean up after yourself
Truth – DRAMA…unprocessed emotions that spill into the new relationship. Take the time between relationships to get your head clear again, If you have residual issues and beliefs, they will pop up in the new relationship to play it out again. Be accountable for your actions and feelings DON’T project them on to another person. This will be like a stinky old dead fish in your relationship if you don’t take care of it…Ew gross!
In all relationships, it takes time, self-awareness and empathy to find our way. Enjoy the process and be playful… even if fishing isn’t your thing you might hook a keeper!