Here in the United States lies a stigma against the practice of arranged marriage. The idea of marrying someone you are not in love with scares those with specific ideas of freedom and happily ever afters. As children, we were programed by the media to believe in only one way to find your true love. We were brought up to believe that the only way to a happy marriage is to follow a certain formula: date, fall in love, then get married. I’ll admit, this was something I believed in as well for the majority of my life, and still somewhat believe in today. Although I would definitely prefer to fall in love and choose my husband in that manner, I have been turned on to the idea of an arranged marriage.
Although you are giving up a portion of your freedom when choosing to marry someone your family picks for you, there are some wonderful
benefits to marrying that way!
You have the same beliefs.
Your parents are going to want the best for you, so picking someone who has the same if not at least similar beliefs is going to be on the top of their list. They are going to make sure you both have the same religious, political, social, economical, and physical beliefs. Plus, the more you have in common, the easier it will be for you both to get along.
You most likely share the same culture.
Similar to sharing the same beliefs, your arranged husband or wife will almost certainly be the same race or ethnicity as you and your family. With this, your cultural traditions and heritage you grew up with will be shared with another person who is just as much a part of it as you are. Plus, you won’t have to worry about arguing which side of the family’s culture you will pass on to your children.
They are successful, you are successful.
Again, your parents and family will want to match you with someone who is at your level, and good enough for you in all aspects. This includes having someone who is equally as driven as you are, and is financially stable. Being financially secure is an important aspect in a marriage. You will most likely want a home, vehicle, nest egg of savings for emergencies, and a steady revenue of income for your family. If you and your spouse are both successful in your careers, then that aspect of life should’t be a problem whatsoever.
Your family likes him/her.
There have been so many times when friends of mine have complained that their families dislike their partner. This creates much unwanted tension between family members. With an arranged marriage, you know for a fact that they have been accepted and are well liked by your family members. I mean, if they already carry other positive similarities to you, like culture, beliefs, and success, then what would there be for your family not to like?
Nowadays you get a say in it.
Unlike in the past, many arranged marriage traditions have been modernized a bit as the world’s viewpoints and expectations have changed. An article on arranged marriages says, “The children can get to know each other well, via email, telephone, or through a series of dates before they decide if they are right for each other.” This methods allows the two participants to feel each other out. If there is any chemistry at all, it helps dispel fears of a loveless marriage… which no one wants.
Love can develop over time.
Yes, yes, I can hear you all asking now, “But what about being in love!?” If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that true love is definitely not instantaneous, and develops over time. I have only been in love once in my life so far, and my relationship started out with me finding my boyfriend annoying. But over time I got to know him better, and I ended up falling in love with him. Who’s to say the same thing can’t happen in an arranged marriage? Funny story though, that boyfriend and I are no longer together today because our core values, successes, and cultural beliefs were too different. Sure, an arranged marriage is a gamble when it comes to love, but so is a regular marriage! Too often now I see divorces because spouses fall out of love, or find out over time they never were really right for each other. In an arranged marriage, you might not start out with the greatest emotional connection, but you will start out with a solid foundation when it comes to everything else. Then, if it is meant to be, the emotions will grow over time and you will still be granted that happily ever after that you had always dreamed of.