Pale Gurl Archives - SmartFem Magazine

Pale Gurl – Knock Knock. Go Away!

Joleen Lunzer — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 06:00:19 +0000

Comedian Joleen Lunzer shares how her childhood shaped her current anxiety and fears of the unknown and attempts to deal with that anxiety.

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Pale Gurl – Advice Your Parents Never Gave You Because They Were Drunk

Joleen Lunzer — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 12:15:00 +0000

Parents are supposed to prepare their children for the future. They are responsible for instilling values, teaching them right from wrong and sharing knowledge that will help their children to maneuver through life’s many obstacles. I thought my parents did a good job advising me on the ways of the world until I reached my […]

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Pale Gurl – Anxiety + Fire = “I’m a Hot Mess”

Joleen Lunzer — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 20:11:01 +0000

I suffer from anxiety. I attribute my anxiety to being raised by an anxious father whom I believe developed his anxiety from his own anxiety-ridden father. Basically, I come from a long line of palm-sweaters who distrust the world around them. Whenever you talk to my grandpa, he enjoys discussing the impending apocalypse where all […]

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Pale Gurl – Rolling in the Deep Depths of a Junior High Nightmare

Joleen Lunzer — Tue, 29 May 2012 19:34:24 +0000

I recently went roller skating for the first time since my youth and it brought me right back to those torturous junior high years. Upon entering the rink, I had what can only be compared to an LSD flashback. Even though I was never cool enough to have done LSD, skating on a roller rink […]

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Pale Gurl – “Serial Monogamist”

Joleen Lunzer — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:34:04 +0000

I’ve never been good at dating. I am what most would refer to as a serial monogamist. I’ve had only a few boyfriends in my 32 years on this earth and each relationship has lasted at least three years. In my younger years, my love life resembled the plot to a John Hughes movie of […]

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Pale Gurl – Cube Jungle

Joleen Lunzer — Fri, 11 May 2012 22:15:31 +0000

With graduation season upon us, I would like to give some advice to all those excited seniors graduating from college this spring. So to the class of 2012, I give you this advice: DON’T GRADUATE! STAY IN SCHOOL! Call your advisor now and tell him or her that you can’t graduate because you forgot to […]

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