1. couple.dates.image.I’m not like a lot of other guys out there…wanna bet?
  2. You are way hotter than the girl I went out with last night…is that supposed to be a compliment?
  3.  Sometimes I think I may have too much money, ya know what I mean?…nope!
  4. Wanna see a picture of my ex?…nope!
  5. Hold on a second, it’s my buddy calling and he’s on a date with some drip…you should never answer a phone call when you are on a date, unless it’s the police informing you that your entire family was just murdered.
  6. I don’t think there is any kind music that’s better than country music…oh but there is.
  7. I have been so busy lately, I completely forgot to take a shower todaybad hygiene is foul and should never be advertised.
  8. I’m just a really confident person and sometimes people can’t handle that…what he’s saying is, “People don’t like me and I don’t care.”
  9. I don’t think I am ever going to move out of my mom’s house, she’s my best friend…you can’t compete with his mom. Run!
  10. I’m a veganNEXT!
  11. To be clear, I’m not looking for anything serious…THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME OUT ON A DATE?!
  12. You look like you would be a freak in bed…if he is talking about sex on the first date, he only wants sex.
  13. I love your dress and your hair looks so cute….is he straight?
  14. *looks at the waiter* She’ll have a salad…is he calling me fat?!
  15. My roommate is a drug dealer so I can make sure we have a great night…charming.