So many of us believe arguments are a bad thing. Whether it’s with friends, family or our partners, we often think it means there is a problem, sometimes one that can’t be fixed.
We are going to make a bold statement here and we hope you’ll consider it.
Arguments are a good sign!
How could this be, you ask?
We believe that arguments, if approached with the understanding and commitment to listen to each other, are powerful.
Arguments are an opportunity to grow, expand, and deal with issues that are coming to the surface.
We always hope to be transparent and authentic with you, so allow us to share a recent disagreement we had last week.
There had been an undertone of frustration between us for about a week and we couldn’t figure out why it was there. It started to manifest as consecutive disagreements in the mornings while we were on our way back from the gym.
And the fact that we kept disagreeing only added to our frustration.
One evening it started to erupt. We both were reacting to each other in the form of our verbal tone and content toward one another.
But thankfully we paused and asked each other if we could try to calmly look into what was really causing us to be this upset.
We both said we were willing to look at this disagreement as partners.
After about 20 minutes of truly communicating to discover the root cause, we learned that we really wanted to feel was that what we were saying was being valued by the other.
We wanted to feel safe to be able to say whatever we felt. This discovery only made us closer.
You’ve probably been in a very similar situation. The core of a relationship, and what those needs are, are very similar.
But the point we invite you to take away is disagreements are a powerful way to learn about each other and get closer.
They are a sign that you’re bringing to the surface anything that needs to be dealt with so you can stay connected to and loving each other.
Otherwise, we all suppress our feelings and pretend we are fine, and begin to feel an undertone of anxiety or apathy in one another.
We are all growing, expanding and constantly evolving.
So what if we look at these disagreements as a good thing and work together as partners to solve them?
We guarantee it’ll move the disagreement along so much faster, and that way and you’ll be on a date laughing at how silly you can be sometimes (because we all are!)