I admit it. I’m guilty of reading gossip magazines and checking out TMZ on occasion. Maybe I even follow TMZ on Twitter. And from 2007-2009, I might have logged onto Perez Hilton’s website on an almost daily basis. My inability to rise above gossip makes me kind of hate myself.

Having received my bachelor’s degree in journalism, I want to be the type of person who doesn’t support this kind of reporting, but the pull is so strong. It is especially difficult to free myself of celebrity gossip now that even ABC news and other major news organizations are reporting on it. I realize this is an attempt to compete with entertainment news stations and capitalize on a lucrative area of “journalism,” but I fear it has gone too far. I worry that one-day I’ll wake up and the only topics our news will be reporting on is Justin Bieber’s love life and Taylor Swift’s hair. Straight vs. Curly? Swift Decision 2013! The media says we only have ourselves to blame.

I’ve heard the basic economics argument that if there wasn’t a demand from the public for this news, they wouldn’t supply it; however, I don’t believe this to be completely true. I think we as a society have been conditioned to want to know the juicy details of celebrity lives. The media draws us in by making these celebrities relatable and familiar, as if they are our friends. They create a fantasy world filled with money, power, beauty, sex and scandal.

Following the lives of the stars then becomes like an addiction. An addiction that has led to me knowing far too much about Lindsay Lohan’s life than I believe to be healthy. And an addiction I’ve spent too much money on. With all of the money I’ve spent on gossip magazines in the past, I could be free from the grips of Mr. Capital One and his evil 24.99 percent interest rate credit card. Unfortunately, my poor financial decisions have been a theme throughout my life considering I spent $300 of the money I received at my high school graduation party and invested in two pairs of Doc Martens.

It’s difficult for me to look in the mirror after I’ve spent any amount of time reading an in-depth article on Who Wore it Best? I feel such shame that I spent actual time having an opinion about the attire of celebrities, but my shame doesn’t seem to stop me from storing important information in my brain like – If you wear nude pumps with a knee-length or above the knee dress/skirt, it’ll make your legs appear longer. Have I no soul!?!

There are certain topics that are always reported on when it comes to celebrity gossip.

1) Cheaters and sex scandals

2) Which celebrity has gained weight, lost weight or was seen without make-up. While at the nail salon recently, I listened as two girls reading In Touch Magazine commented on a photo of Katy Perry. “She’s so disgusting. I hate her hair,” they agreed.

3) Which star is still in the closet or who has recently been dragged out of the closet

4) Celebrity babies

5) Celebrity feuds

6) Celebrity crime/drug use/arrests

I may have missed a few, but these seem to be the staple topics in most gossip magazines and news reporting.

Of all the topics, sex scandals seem to be the most popular. Stories about celebrities who cheat have been blanketing the news over the past few years. It seems we must be privy to any and every alleged indiscretion whether it is proven or not. We then side with the scorned man or woman and go online and condemn the cheater as if they had cheated on us.

Over the last week, the media has been buzzing about Twilight star, Kristen Stewart’s affair with her married Snow White and the Huntsmen director, Rupert Sanders. This affair has broken the hearts of Twilight teens, 20-somethings and even fans over the age of 30, and they are not afraid to showcase their grief in tearful rants on YouTube for everyone to see. All of the hate seems to be against Kristen and not Rupert who is married and has children. This is because Kristen having an affair with Sanders means that she cheated on her Twilight co-star and fan-favorite, Robert Pattinson.

As intimate details about Kristen and Robert’s relationship and break up are exposed daily, I wonder why it’s still news when celebrities cheat? Since when was Hollywood the land of morals and loyalty? Also, Kristen Stewart is only 22 years old. She has money, beauty and talent. Despite her inability to appear joyful, she seems to have it all. And with that she can probably have any man she wants as well. I am not condoning her cheating, but she’s barely an adult. It’s not an excuse for her behavior, but we should not hold her to a higher standard than we do the 42-year-old married father of two whom she had the affair with.

Most people (over the age of 30) can look back and remember the awful and embarrassing mistakes they made in their teens and 20’s. I know I made my fair share. Sure, I wasn’t the Lindsay Lohan of Minnesota while growing up. I still have never even seen cocaine in person. My street cred is shaky when it comes to drugs. My best drug story is when I got a contact high after hanging out in the green room with a group of comedians at the Tempe Improv, which is just further proof that Nancy Reagan’s Just Say No drug campaign from the 1980’s is total nonsense. I just said no and yet just being in the vicinity of people taking Snoop Dogg-size bong hits caused me to drive my car up onto the curb on my way home that night.

I’m just thankful that my dirty laundry was never aired for all to see and read when I was in my teens or twenties or I would have been devastated. So Kristen if you are reading this (which of course you are), what you did is wrong, but I refuse to throw stones when clearly, I am no angel. I hope you can sleep nicely on the California king-size bed of money you’ve made from acting in a dark fairy tale about eternal love and beauty, which is the biggest lie regularly told and sold to women. We eat it up, but it’s never easy to digest.

In an attempt to right the wrongs from all of the gossip I’ve enjoyed about other people’s personal lives, I’ve decided to share some from my own life. Enjoy!

Dear People Magazine, Us Weekly or OK Magazine,

Feel free to contact me if you want to pay me for an in-depth story on any of the information I divulge below.



  • The day I received my driver’s license when I was 16 years old, I backed my Pontiac Lemans into a parked car and instead of getting out and writing a note to the owner, I drove away.
  • I cheated on my first boyfriend when I was 17 years old. Approximately 3 months after he gave me a promise ring he purchased at Sears.
  • During a spring break trip to Jamaica when I was 20 years old, I drank too much tequila and passed out on the front steps of our villa. Luckily, hotel management was kind enough to help me in my room without assaulting me.
  • When I was 14, I stole a purple velvet hair scrunchie from the Festival of Nations in St. Paul, MN.
  • While in my mid 20’s, I punched a Scottsdale guy in the face after he pushed me aside so that he could steal my cab and then called me the derogatory name for female dog outside of Devil’s Martini in Old Town Scottsdale. I know what you’re thinking, what was I doing at Devil’s Martini?? I guess I got lost in all the angel wing t-shirts and studded $300 jeans.

Joleen has put together a parody of the crazed Twilight fans and their reactions to the news of Kristen Steward having an affair with Rupert Sanders behind Robert Pattinson’s back. Warning: There is brief adult language in the video.