When I was in high school, I had a teacher that told me if I could fill up one hand with the count of all my friends I would be lucky. Oh how true his words were, even though they did not mean anything to me at that time. When I was 17 years old in high school, about to graduate, I thought I had so many friends, however I was quickly disillusioned. To this day the friends I still have from high school max out at two, and quite honestly I avoid most of the others I used to associate with.
Most of us know of the term “fair-weather friend.” They are the type of people who are there when the money is flowing, when your connections can bring them benefits or when you’re in a great place in life. There is a problem here though. These are the sort of “friends” that dip out when things get rough or you when you ask them for help. These are people that don’t stand up for you amongst your peers. Suddenly, quickly answered texts start going unanswered and the same goes for phone calls. You soon realize that this person you felt a strong connection with does not feel the same way about you.
I’ve had this experience recently, and having been through it before knew the warning signs right away. Upon moving to Scottsdale and starting school. I was open to making new friends and actually wanted to, which is out of the ordinary for me. I did make a friend, and we have remained friends. Although recently I have distanced myself from her, we still are friends. However, I did recognize the one sided behavior. If she needed something I was the first person she called because I was the only
person she knew. Need a dress hemmed? Go to Jessica. Need an interview for class? Jessica must be available. But when I would ask, “Hey can you help me move?” I wouldn’t get a response until the end of the day. Sounds fishy, right?
While I am more than happy to take my friends on whatever successful journey I have, God willing I ever have one, I also know they are willing to take me with them on theirs. What you can always be sure of is that while you might be fast friends with someone you just met, their true colors will come out just as quickly. This behavior should almost redefine what a friend is. We all throw that word around to people we’ve just met, but sometimes I think it might be just as important as the word “love.” Friendship takes just as much cultivation as a romantic relationship and sometimes it takes more than a few months to bestow that title upon someone. So our Smartfem team wants to hear about your experiences with fair-weather friends. Let us know in the comments!