Helpful Ways To Communicate Better In Your Relationship
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you just aren’t being heard by your significant other?
It’s almost as though you are speaking two different languages sans an interpreter, and struggling to resolve a conflict while getting nowhere fast.
It can be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship when you both are unable to communicate effectively and in a manner that allows both parties to feel heard and understood.
In fact, one of the reasons why couples don’t last is because they are unable to figure out how to communicate with each other beyond just talking at one another.
The key is learning how to talk to each other.
Think about it. How often do you zone out and drift away in thought when you feel like someone is talking at you? Usually the conversation is one-sided, you don’t have the opportunity to speak, and you feel like you’re being scolded above anything else.
It’s at this point where you have no idea why this chatter is happening in the first place and you decide to simply agree with your partner in order to move on.
But in reality what you both are doing is setting a foundation where one person is the communicator, the other person is silenced, and you both have yet to figure out what needs to be done to resolve the conflict that launched the scolding in the first place.
So, chances are, no one changes behavior, the pattern stays the same, and in three weeks you’re both right back to where you started having the same one-sided conversation.
Not only can this pattern be damaging, it can eventually cause you both to call it quits. That’s why learning how to communicate with your spouse is so important.
So, how do you do it? Well, it’s as simple as learning to listen and asking questions.
When you find you and your partner in a disagreement, the most important thing to remember is to listen. When you both listen to each other and use language like “I feel belittled when you say this,” it makes the point more clear as to why you are upset in the first place.
Explaining your feelings and why you feel the way you do helps the other person understand where you’re coming from. Equally so, it’s imperative to listen to their concerns and even if you don’t agree, try to understand and see their point of view.
Then, after you have explained yourself, allow time for your spouse to explain their side and listen and hear where they are coming from.
Again, understanding one’s intentions and feelings allows you both to see both sides of things and find middle ground. And when you find middle ground you both are able to come to a resolution.
But once the resolution is found you both can’t just return to the same behavior that caused the argument in the first place.
By hearing and understanding where your partner is coming from, you agree to acknowledge their feelings and consciously be aware of them.
And if something doesn’t make sense to you, make sure to ask questions and allow your partner to explain themselves to you. By asking questions you engage in further getting to know them and their personality.
Likewise, share some insight into what made you develop the personality you have, and together learn more about your commonalities and what makes you both tick.
Overall, the key here is to listen to one another and speak to the person as oppose to at the person. By engaging in two-sided conversation and asking questions you both are taking equal responsibility for the relationship and your actions.
It’s inevitable that you both will make each other upset from time to time, but learning how to communicate will help build a solid foundation that won’t crack at the first sign of turbulence.