There are only three things my mom and I share in common: our thick brown hair, our stubbornness and our uncontrollable need to shop. Everything else, my good (and bad) personality traits and the majority of my looks, comes from my dad. I am 100% a daddy’s girl, and I am not afraid to admit it. As for my mom, let’s just put it this way…if we aren’t shopping or getting manicures together, then we’re most likely fighting.
I think there is a fine line between your mom being a mom and being a best friend. On one side, you have the moms who look and act so much like their daughters that they are often confused as their twin sister. Then you have the traditional mother who tells you to pull up your pants, makes sure you finish your meal and fixes your hair if it is out of place. I had neither of these kinds of moms.
My mom didn’t want kids. After years of begging and convincing on my dad’s part, however, she finally agreed. What she ended up with were two daughters, and two very different relationships with each one.
I am not close with my mom. By that, I mean I don’t call her twice a day. I don’t tell her every little thing that goes on in my life, unless it involves an academic achievement or career choice. I tell her the important things, but everything else is saved for my own head or my friends. It used to bother me a lot that I didn’t have such a close relationship with her, and sometimes it still does, but I’m used to it now.
My mom has simply just never been someone I felt I could confide in. Instead, we fight over my boyfriends, my bad attitude and my unwillingness to clean up after myself. At first, I thought it was a rough patch that every mother and teenage daughter go through. Then I grew out of my teens, started becoming an adult and things stayed the same. It’s not that my mom is a bad mom or incapable of expressing herself. Her and my sister have an excellent relationship. For example, my sister and my mom will text and call each other daily. I’m lucky if I hear from my mom once a week.
I don’t envy the fact that my mom is such a big part of my sister’s life and not mine. I am actually someone who enjoys my independence and personal space. When it comes down to it, though, it’s a matter of do we get along or do we not get along. My mom and I just don’t get along. We disagree on the way to handle problems or big decisions, and therefore I go to my dad whenever I need advice on something.
What I envy is not having a mother who sees past the “I’m just tired” excuse and will ask me what is really going on. I don’t need a mom who is constantly meddling with my decisions and relationships. I respect that we give each other space, but it would be nice to be able to tell her about my first love, my first heartbreak and everything in between. I think we all can agree there are those times when you just need your mom.