With my daughter growing up so fast, there is one question that I seem to get from almost everyone I know… When is baby number two coming? It is sometimes hard to believe that my daughter will soon turn three years old. For some people, it is hard to believe that she is still an only child.
Many people believe that a second child should come soon after the first; for several reasons actually. One of them being that a lot of parents believe it is in the child’s best interest to grow up with a sibling close in age. Others believe that it is a lot easier to have two infants in diapers and just “get it over with”. And then there are those who just think two is better than one.
Well here is a reality check to those that constantly pressure parents to go for baby number two, or mommies that feel the pressure to make it happen.
There are many things that a parent should consider before having a child, let alone a second one. It isn’t always rainbows and butterflies in parenting, and there are several factors that parents need to consider before making such a big commitment.
Here is a list of questions to go over before making such a life changing decision:
Do I even want to be a mom for a second time?
I love my daughter more than I ever thought I was able to love someone. Like most moms, raising my child to the best of my ability is my number one priority. And while one day I would love the opportunity to become a mother for the second time, I am not quite ready for it at this time in my life. Another thing to consider is the positive impact of spacing out your pregnancies. Studies show that waiting at least two years to have your next child can increase your firstborn’s academic scores.
Am I financially ready?
The simple answer is NO. As a full time student, I understand the responsibilities of not only being a mom, but handling a tight budget as well. No it is not simply purchasing diapers and formula. There are a lot of things that need to be budgeted for that are sometimes left out of the equation. Like, how much will it cost to deliver my child, including prenatal, delivery-related and post-partum healthcare. These bills can run anywhere from $3,000 to $30,000 depending on the hospital. Quite frankly as a college student I cannot afford that.
What does my partner think?
Couples need to make sure they put both parents’ thoughts into consideration. Just because one parent feels one way does not mean that is the only route possible. Exploring all your options is part of being a good parent. It was a breath of fresh air to find out that my boyfriend and I were on the same page. While he loves children, he understands all that goes into raising a child. His viewpoints on this decision making process confirmed to me that neither of us were ready for baby number two, at least not any time soon.
Remember, don’t let your surrounding pressure you do do something you are not completely ready to do. Whether it is the media, family or friends, no one should be making such a life changing decision for you.