A Note From Single People To Their Married Friends With Kids
It’s an interesting feeling when your friends begin to start families. You are incredibly excited for them while also feeling a bit lost.
Perhaps it’s because the dynamic inevitably changes. It’s similar to that feeling when your friends start getting married. There’s a shift in the relationship because now their lives have changed.
Random get togethers are no longer random, but rather something penciled in and planned to the minute because the carefree life is gone.
They have a husband and kids to make priority, their lives are scheduled around drops offs and pickups, school activities and sports tournaments.
And there is nothing wrong with that. It’s part of the shift that comes with the territory of having a family. Friends and evenings out become few and far in between as everyone juggles work and their own lives.
Late nights aren’t as late because kids don’t sleep in just because mom and dad are hung over. And being hung over is just no fun at that point. Not for anyone.
It’s always interesting when friends start to lead different lives. Some get married, some start a family, and others remain single or uncommitted without kids.
The most interesting part is how the group dynamic changes when attempting to mix the singles with the ones who are married or married and with children.
It’s as though the singles are slightly left out, as though they can’t mingle in a group of couples without a plus one. Or that somehow they care if they are the only single person there.
I feel I can speak for many professional singles that we really don’t care if we are a single in a group of couples. Chances are the men will group up and chat just as the women will group up and chat.
We can all find things in common to talk about whether married or not. Just as we can still be invited to children’s birthday parties even if we don’t have kids ourselves.
We want to be part of your special days and milestones, and we enjoy knowing you want us there, too.
So please, don’t not invite us single people because you feel we cannot relate, fit in, or wouldn’t want to be at a gathering that involves spouses or kids.
If we can’t or don’t want to attend then we will decline. But sometimes we will accept the invitation because we want to be there, for you, for your spouse, and for your kids.
We want to still feel like we are part of your circle. We cherish the relationships and don’t want them to die out because the dynamic has changed.
There will be adjustments, but what we want you to know is there will hopefully always be the friendship, no matter how many people are involved.