In every serious relationship there comes a time when you have to sit back and evaluate. What do you like about the relationship? What do you dislike? Can you see a real future with this person?
It’s easy to think you are in love without actually being in love. How? Because sometimes we like the ideas of things more than we actually like them. A committed boyfriend, a loving fiance, a perfect marriage and life all sound great! We want the kind of love and happiness we see in the movies. But wanting something so bad can make you blind to the reality of the situation. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we really like someone even when we know deep down, we don’t. This may not be the case for every relationship, but if you’re worried that I’m describing yours, here are a few signs to look out for!
- The thought of being with him doesn’t excite you. Butterflies in your stomach isn’t just something somebody made up. Excitement is a necessary part of a good relationship. You should be excited to see him and miss him when you two are a part. Now, you should never be completely dependent on a person, but there needs to be a good balance. Wanting to be with someone is important but needing to be with someone can be unhealthy.
- You didn’t start to like him until he started to like you. This is one of the most obvious signs that you like the idea of him more than you actually like him! If you only started to like him after he showed interest in you then that means your feelings completely stem from the fact that you know he likes you. And trust me, that’s not a relationship you want to be in. You want to like the person for who they are, not because you simply like to be liked.
- You don’t know much about him. What’s his favorite color and favorite food? What’s his biggest dream? Do you know his mother’s first name or what he wanted to be when he was a little boy? If you don’t know the answer to these questions then odds are you don’t really know him! And if you don’t really know him, how can you really be in love with him?
- You LOVE love. Not only do you love being in love but you love knowing someone is in love with you. If you feel like you always need to be in a relationship with someone then you should probably take a break from dating. Figure out who you are when you aren’t in a relationship. Love yourself for a while!
- You’re trying to change each other. Trying to change someone is never a good sign. Granted, some small changes may be perfectly acceptable. Like changing their mind about always leaving the toilet seat up or about never cooking dinner. But, wanting to make big changes to your significant other tells me that you should probably date someone else, someone that already has the qualities you’re looking for.