Ahhh, Tinder. You download it. You love it. You obsess over it. You get bored of it. You hate it. You delete it. And the cycle continues. If you are someone like me who is 110% single and fed up with the plethora of tool bags that exist in your vicinity (but still a hopeless romantic), you might use Tinder as a glistening beacon of hope that maybe, just maybe, the right guy will swipe right and sweep you off your feet. Not that you’d ever admit that to anyone, but no worries, I just did that for you. Well I hate to break it to you, but the likelihood of you actually finding Prince Charming on Tinder is slimmer than the amount of decent guys that use the app. Finding a normal, socially acceptable guy on Tinder is like trying to locate a needle in a haystack.
Along with any other dating app, of course there are the underlying prospects of potential hookups. I didn’t even want to believe this at first, but according to the Huffington Post, STD’s have been aggressively on the rise, specifically in Rhode Island where cases of syphilis have risen a shocking 79% between 2013 and 2014. And if STD’s aren’t enough to scare you away from those archives of questionable men, here’s a real life Tinder nightmare encountered by yours truly.
I’ll spare you the detailed version, but note that I agreed to meet this Tinder match at the least sketchy upscale restaurant less than two miles from my house. Red flag number one: He orders us Chambord margaritas before we’ve even sat down. We take a seat at the bar and after some lackluster small talk I notice he’s slurring his words a little and has quite an intense stare. Actually, he was completely zoning out into space. “You look like you need to do some cartwheels out in the parking lot,” I say jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood.
At this point, anything would be better than sitting with this stoically robotic guy that I met literally twenty minutes ago. He then looks at me, shrugs and chuckles, “Well I’ve had like six drinks before this. Plus I’m on Xanax.” That explains the death stares into space. I am mind blown. Then I recall how he had offered to pick me up, thank God I insisted on driving myself. Needless to say, after honesty hour with Mr. Drunky Pants I was home within the next half hour.
The truth with any online dating app is- people may not be truly how they portray themselves. Two words of advice for all you Tinderellas out there, treat every encounter you choose to go through with caution. Think it through before you commit. I mean seriously, with every dinner/coffee date you agree to attend, you are giving your precious time and energy to whoever is across the table. And if nothing seems to be working out, don’t sweat it. You know you’re going to delete it again tomorrow anyway.