When it comes to moving on, most people tend to have a difficult time letting go of things they have been holding on to for years. Whether it is that old rusty cabinet you store all your all paperwork in, that ugly sweater you received for your birthday seven years ago, and even people who you know that are not benefiting you in any way.
Toxic relationships aren’t only found in marriages, they could also be connections you might have with a friend, that cousin that never has anything nice to say or even your annoying neighbor that can’t seem to leave you alone. Toxic is defined as something that is poisonous, something that is harmful or could even be deadly.
The reason I am touching base with toxic relationships is because they are something that we deal with every single day and most of the time we don’t even realize what they are. I’m sharing with you a very personal story that I hope will help you in your pursuit of getting rid of your toxic relationships.
A personal story about a friend that lost herself in a toxic relationship…
My good friend Chelsea started dating Tom over three years ago during her junior year of high school. Ever since things got serious between her and her boyfriend she became a different person. Chelsea had become self-conscious and very insecure about herself. She was no longer interested in the things she loved the most in life, which were school and her family.
Chelsea disconnected from the world for several months. It was rare when her family would receive even a simple text from her. Her close friends and relatives noticed the negative affect of her relationship when they noticed her grades drop and the lack of regard towards her academics.
Chelsea was able to graduate high school, but she decided to not participate in the graduation ceremony. Her family was surprised that she was able to graduate despite of her grades, but very grateful that she did. What happened three months after graduating is was truly shocked Chelsea’s family. She was pregnant!
At the young age of 18, Chelsea was only a teenager when she became pregnant. One would think that a young pregnancy would require great support from close family but Chelsea didn’t want that she went through nine months of pregnancy alone.
Her boyfriend seemed rather careless as to whether she needed help at home or not. Tom spent most of his time with friends at nightclubs, bars and casinos. When Tom finally did come home, he made sure to make Chelsea feel bad about herself by criticizing her and telling her all the things he though she did wrong.
After her son was born, she went through nine tough months of struggling with her him on her own. Although she was technically in a relationship, it seemed like she was a single mother to her newborn son. Although her boyfriend never physically abused her, the mental abuse was enough to make Chelsea hit rock bottom. When she did, she knew that she was wasting her time with that relationship that did nothing but bring her down.
It took her a couple of years, but Chelsea finally realized that the relationship she was in was eating her alive. She didn’t feel herself for the three years she was with him. But it was time for a change. Chelsea left her long time boyfriend in search of a better life for her and her son.
Since the separation Chelsea seems like a new person. She smiles every single day and provides a safe environment for her and her son. She currently attends a well-known university and works hard to make sure she assures a safe and stable life for her household of two.
Toxic relationships don’t always have to be abusive relationships, with the simple fact of someone or something dragging you down, you can be almost certain that bond should be broken. Respect yourself enough to know when it is time to walk away. If that person makes you frown more than smile, then you are in a toxic relationship.
I want to share with you one the greatest pieces of advice I have ever received. A wise man once told me that one of the best ways to get rid of toxic relationships is to go through your address book and delete the name and information of any individual who you feel is dragging you down in life. That way, you end up with only influential people, and those who bring positivity to your life.
Going through with this lifestyle change is not always easy; it takes a lot of perseverance and respect for yourself to take this big leap in your life. Just know that it was worth it for Chelsea, and I know it will be worth it for you.