Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?
“We can still be friends.” Famous last words, right? You and your now ex lover have decided to end things, and the final phrase said has something to do with remaining friends.
I have never stayed friends with an ex. In my humble opinion, staying friends with an ex is pretty impossible because we were never friends in the first place.
There was something there that made us more, and we’ve never just been best buds. So now let’s just switch to being friends? Nope, it’s not something my brain is wired to do.
When you’re in an intimate relationship you trust that person, are vulnerable with them and build a bond that is vastly different than a friendship you have with your guy or girl friends.
Sure, you can, and should, consider your partner a friend, but it’s just not the same type of relationship. And according to science, I am on to something.
Psychologists from Oakland University did a study on 861 participants. The participants were asked to answer a series of questions covering why they wanted stay friends with their ex and how well they get along, according to Daily Mail.
Then, participants answered questions covering their own personality traits. After the study was concluded, researchers noticed something interesting.
Those who scored high for demonstrating personality traits such as narcissism, Machiavellian, and even psychopathy were the ones who managed to remain friends with their ex.
The reason behind the friendship? Because one or both parties got something out of it. Some were due to a sentimental attachment.
But what was most interesting were the associated personality traits with those who felt remaining friends was a good idea. Looking back at one ex of mine who was dead-set on staying friends, yeah, I would definitely say he is a narcissist.
Remember, the relationship ended for a reason and it’s really difficult to move on with life when nothing seems to have changed.
If you guys are still hanging out all of the time, confiding in each other and trying to be friends, what was the breakup for?
It can get tricky if you guys have the same group of friends, but being cordial when you see each other versus being besties are two different things.
You already have besties, and your ex doesn’t need to be one of them.