weddingMy daughter, Nicole, just recently became engaged! The celebration of her proposal took place in California. Sharing many toasts, tears, laughter, and kisses, we embraced our daughter and future son-in-law.

Becoming the mother-of-the-bride is taking on a whole new meaning for me that I was not expecting. I began having flashbacks of my own wedding, the bridesmaids, reception dinner, and planning I did 36 years ago.

Nicole and I went to our first bridal shop, and this is a moment in time I will never forget. But with tears in my eyes, and love in my heart for my daughter and her fiancé, I started coming off this amazing cloud as reality set in.

I need help, advice, and guidance thinking about all the planning ahead of us. And more importantly, how do I give my daughter everything she wants while still being able to afford her wedding?

Some of the questions I have include:

  1. Do they want an intimate or a large wedding?
  2. Where should the wedding take place?
  3. Would they prefer some of the money we give you to use toward a down payment on a house versus a wedding?
  4. How many people will attend, and will we need to write out an A list and B list for affordability?
  5. Do we need a wedding planner, or can I take on the whole job myself with my daughter’s help?
  6. How much will the food cost?
  7. How much can I afford to spend on a dress?
  8. Do I pay for the wedding, or ask the groom’s family to assist? What is the proper etiquette?

As the mother-of-the-bride I want the event to be one of the greatest memories in my daughter’s life. Researching the cost of a wedding I discovered a wide range.

The average cost of a wedding today is $26,645, and the average cost of a wedding in Scottsdale is $32,985, according to Cost of Wedding.

I know this an important day to my daughter. We all dream about this day as little girls but we forget to factor in the price paid for the big day.

In fact many couples start their married life together already in debt, using credit cards and personal loans to help finance their wedding, according to an article published by Market Watch.bride and groom

After 36 years of married life, I have discovered that the most important thing is to love someone unconditionally regardless of how much the wedding cost, or how perfect the day was.

Being mindful, learning to let go, and forgiving is so important in making a marriage successful.

And when the lights are dimmed and the music stopped, it’s working together as a team that will provide a long-lasting marriage.

With all of the questions, worries and excitement going on in my mind at this pivotal time, I can only wish that my message is useful to my daughter and all the young brides-to-be.