Navigating A Friendship When You’ve Outgrown It
Life is full of change. As we get older and find our way through our own journey, we find ourselves making and loosing friends.
Some people are meant to be around for a shorter period of time, while others stick close by as you share big life moments together.
It can be both difficult and sad when you start to notice you might be outgrowing a friend or group of friends in your life.
It’s not that they are bad people, you just start to find yourself at a distance rather than being in the mix of it all.
Some of what separates people is just part of growing up and life throwing us in different directions. While you might be traveling the world in a rock n’ roll band, your one-time bestie might be studying her way through law school.
I remember noticing a few times when I outgrew friends, and one of those times was after graduating high school. While the girls I hung out with continued to do all the things we did in high school, I found myself craving change, growth and maturity.
I was heading off to Los Angeles to attend film school while every one else stayed behind to hang out at the mall before college started.
When I came home from film school I found myself not contacting our hanging out with them as much, and before I knew it I was making new friends and running with a new crowd.
Outgrowing friends is never easy, and you feel bad for simply not enjoying someone’s company anymore, even though they did nothing wrong. It can be hard to have that conversation, but in the end every one is probably noticing it too.
You are probably declining offers to hang out, finding you have little in common anymore, and noticing your friends taking part in activities without you.
And even if you tag along you can tell that it just doesn’t quite mesh like it use to anymore. So, how do you navigate or break away from a friendship you’ve outgrown?
First, don’t stop working towards your goals or new adventures. Continue moving forward and growing. Surround yourself with people who have common interests and make friends with those who share your passions for similar things in life.
People pick up on things and can also tell when a friendship has run its course and is dying out. Chances are the other person is also finding themselves on a new path that’s leading them in a different direction, too.
We tend to gravitate to those we feel comfortable with. That’s why when we find ourselves now the single person in a group full of couples, we eventually separate and go in a different direction.
It won’t be shocking to anyone when group dynamics change, and every one is going to have times when they are the one leaving the group.
Embrace the change and remember that some people are meant to be in our lives for a moment while others are meant to be around for a lifetime.