Divorce: Coping mechanisms for you and your children

Advice for Parents and their children: If you are going through a divorce, be sure to go over these topics with your child in order to ease the emotional pain and general transition.

The most important thing to realize is that a parents’ divorce is not the child’s fault. So many children believe if they were better behaved or did this or that right, then their parents would not be getting a divorce. That is not true, it is the parents’ relationship that is different or they are no longer a “good fit,” is the reason for divorce, not you. It is very normal to have strong emotional feelings about a parents’ divorce. It can be very difficult and painful to go through. Unless the family experienced domestic violence, it might be a relief to not have continuous fighting or verbal abuse occurring in the home.

Our families can also experience split loyalties and pressure from a parent to take sides and feel guilty. This is not fair to the child because they have the right to love you individually for who you are to them. In my practice, numerous children have stated that they feel as if they are caught in the middle, to take sides. This can create emotional upheaval for your child. Try to find ways and strategies through counseling to prevent this.

Your children also have the right to follow their own dreams, hopes, and goals for their life not just their parents’ needs.  Children are allowed to experience their own feelings even if it doesn’t match their parents whether it is anger, pain, frustration, hurt, jealousy, love, or whatever they are going through. If you and your family have a counselor to go to, then please take advantage of this opportunity. There are agencies that are free or have sliding scales. A counselor at your child’s school can help them adjust to the situation as well.

Basic tips for surviving and personal growth during a parents divorce.

• Dealing with these issues alone can be very stressful on a child, please help them by giving them a professional counselor to talk to. It is so beneficial to your whole family to have someone trained in the field to guide you and help all of you through this process. Money does not have to be an issue because agencies like Jewish Family & Children’s Services, Terros, clergy or church community, etc. can help you and your family.

• Continue to help keep your regular routine as well as your child’s such as, school, sports, clubs, and other activities to keep normalcy in your lives and something that is their own. Consider volunteering in order to give back to your community. This can be advantageous for both a parent and child. This can benefit and can help you both feel better in your lives. Focusing on helping others when we hurt is great medicine for the soul.

• If you have yoga, meditation tapes, or any relaxation music, humorous books or movies to watch can be helpful when you and your child are sad or depressed at this time. Sometimes suggesting journaling one’s feelings privately can be helpful for both child and parent to do. Doing art or other activities together can help release negative feelings for the time being if you have no one to talk too.

• Although everyone in the family is hurting, help your child be aware to not take on anyone else’s feelings in the family and harbor them inside themselves. This can be very destructive and can create anger which can affect one’s behavior or actions in a destructive manner. Being physical or aggressive with people, verbally abusive, or numbing your feelings through drugs and alcohol are all warning signs that you need someone to hold you up and support you through this difficult and stressful time. If your child’s grades go down, this can indicate a lack of motivation and feelings of hopelessness. Just allow yourself and your child to have this range of emotions and do not beat yourself up for them or belittle your child’s feelings. Try to validate your child’s feelings by making statements such as, “Johnny, I know you are angry that dad no longer lives here, and you must miss him.” These types of statements can reassure your child’s feelings and help diffuse their anger.

• Allow your child to speak up and let them have a “voice” about their feelings in regards to school, jobs, family matters, babysitting, money, activities, clothes, sleep arrangements, holidays, vacations etc.

• As parents, try to understand your child’s positions in the divorce so you can eventually understand their feelings and needs. Try to be patient, as a parent, because although you are going through hurt, anger, and frustration, your child is also unclear of all the decisions and feelings they are going through as well. Try to approach your child in a positive manner by saying things in a polite or kind voice. Often times, when we are angry, we may direct/transfer our anger onto our children. This can cause upheaval in the home and distance ourselves from healthy communication with our children.

• Ask close relatives, friends, or neighbors whom you trust to talk to you or your children about what your family is experiencing.  Often times, friends or relatives, who have also been divorced, can be helpful to talk to about these matters.

• Manipulation can occur when children feel confused and not know what to do about their living situations. A therapist or counselor can help set parameters and structure during this difficult transition so that everyone is on the same page and knows what to do.

• Reading books or other media about divorce with your child can be beneficial. This can help open communication skills and discuss feelings they are experiencing.

After reading this article what are your thoughts? Please comment on SmartFem’s Facebook page and let us know what you think about this article.

Please post and ask questions that you want to see featured in the column, “Ask Linda” on Linda’s Facebook page.

How do we prepare our high school graduates to face the world?

Some of the ways we can prepare our daughters for life after high school are:

• Talk to your daughters about attending a university, community college, or trade school to enhance her abilities in a specific field. Teach her how to understand financial assistance. She might need to receive a higher degree than just a bachelor’s or an associate degree. Statistically, more women are attending or staying in college than men.

• Role play with your daughter how to interview and dress professionally for a job. If you are not knowledgeable in that area, then contact someone who is professional and research proper attire and appropriate interview skills.

• Teach your daughters the differences between assertiveness and aggression. In a male’s world, men are taught to be competitive and aggressive. This may be difficult for a young woman to adapt to this work style. Taking a course and role playing how to ask for what you want in an assertive manner can be beneficial in a work setting. Being able to climb a ladder, as young men often do, is a form of competition. Talk about putting in extra time at her job so that superiors notice how hard she is working, instead of just doing the minimal amount.

• Also, talk to your daughter about how to ask and negotiate a salary instead of saying, “Oh thank you. That is okay.” Make sure that she has researched what the company and position is worth in terms of pay. Males generally ask for higher salaries, whereas females feel uncomfortable asking.
• Talk to your daughter about finances and how to budget. If that is not an area of your expertise, then take her to a financial adviser to teach her.

• She may choose to marry later in life than you did. Do not be discouraged by that or push her to marry early if she is working on her career. Try to be supportive and understanding that she may not follow in your footsteps. There can be a strong possibility that your daughter may have to support herself without the help of a husband. There is also a possibility that she could end up divorced which is why it is important to have a stable career to support herself and her family.

• Talk to her about being a parent. Encourage her to study some psychology courses and child development/parenting books.

• If you have been a working mother, speak to your daughter one day about balancing career and family responsibilities.

• Discuss with your teen that she might be a target for sexual harassment on the job. If this has happened to you, then let her know how to handle it.

• Talk to your daughter about the possibility that she may earn more money than her husband and how will they deal with that in their marriage.

• One day she may have her own place. Discuss the importance of taking care of her home and taking pride in it.

 

Some of the ways we can prepare our sons for life after high school are:

• Encourage your sons to attend university, community college, or some type of trade school in order to support themselves.

• Review specific dress codes that are appropriate and interview skills so that your son will be able to get a job.

• Teach him that being assertive is important in asking for what you want in a dignified manner. Often times young men may appear aggressive in their behavior or speech. It is important to guide them in being respectful, attentive, and kind to their colleagues and superiors.

• Encourage your son to negotiate a decent salary that is commensurate with the job. Also, tell him to work hard and put in the extra mile in order to climb the ladder.

• Teach your son how to be respectful of women. The way you role model with your partner is very influential in the way they will treat a future wife or partner. Talk about how to avoid objectifying women on the job. Tell them not to join in with other males by participating in this objectification of women.

• Teach him how to balance work and family life. By discussing issues that can arise in both your professional world and personal world can be very helpful to him.

• Talk about being a father and the importance it plays in a child’s life. Suggest one day they take parenting classes and read books about child development.

• There is a probability that his partner may make more money than him and how will he deal with that as a male.

• Being an equal partner, he may be sharing chores with his spouse.  Being knowledgeable in domestic responsibilities will be advantageous to him. Teach your child how to do laundry, budget, cook, clean, sew a button on, and manage household chores.

 

There is a wonderful handbook that you may want to purchase immediately prior to your child leaving home. It is entitled, “Help I’m on my Own.” This book will be advantageous to you and your son and daughter to review these various skills.

Check out Linda’s Facebook page for more information on ordering her book, “Help I’m on my Own!”

How Can Our Children Survive on Their Own?

As parents, we ask ourselves the question, “Did I give my child the right morals, values and tools to be independent when they leave home or go off to college?”

There are so many parents that love their children but have done so much for them that they cannot think for themselves. They often contact their mother or father for advice and use that relationship as a crutch instead of handling and working through their own problems.

If our children are not taught how to be responsible, then they will not thrive as young adults.

As a mother and Child Development Specialist, I asked myself that same question. “Have I done a good job teaching my daughters how to be responsible adults?” After speaking to parents with teens who are leaving for college or trying to find a job, my partner and I decided to write a new handbook that addresses life skills.

This handbook is entitled “Help! I’m On My Own!” This handbook is user friendly. Parents can read the material and review each section with their young adult. Some of the topics covered include:

 

Relationships and Dating Advice: How to have a healthy relationship and the warning signs of an unhealthy one.

Auto Care: Taking care of your car and important documents to keep inside it.

Money Matters:  How to balance a checkbook, online banking, credit cards, student loans, establishing credit, etc.

Dealing with a Landlord:  Understanding a rental agreement, roommate issues, and parking.

Shopping, Spending, and Saving On Your Own: This includes making good decisions and being a smart shopper.

Balanced Living:  How to stay healthy, coping with stress, balancing school and fun, balancing jobs and schoolwork.

Interviewing and Job Tips: Writing resumes and cover letters, what to wear to an interview.

Sex and Stuff:  Understanding Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), and pregnancy prevention.

Laundry and Living Away from Home: What to bring when you move out.

There are many more topics you may need to discuss with your young adult; however these are a few important life skills included in “Help, I’m On My Own” that a teen should learn in order to become independent. Parents need to model and discuss these lessons with their young adult prior to their moving away from home.

In order to help your teen, this booklet can be your guide. This booklet is available on May 14, 2013. Please feel free to contact Linda by posting and liking on her Facebook page, or call at 602-615-6180.

Mother’s Day Activities for the Family

Something mothers can really appreciate on Mother’s Day is time away from the usual house chores, cooking and cleaning.  However our families can make it happen, we long for a day where there are no dishes or clothes to wash, hand prints on the stainless steel appliances, toothpaste smudged on the counter tops and backpacks dropped in the walkways.  Dads are often charged with making something happen on Mother’s Day especially when the children are young.  Cookies, flowers, candies and cards will be flying off the shelves this week in preparation for Mother’s Day this coming Sunday, May 12th.  But, if you are anything like me, a day at the spa is nice and so are flowers but homemade gifts and sharing special times with the children are even more desirable. I’d like to spend quality time having fun with my kids and make a mess that is not in my kitchen or my house that I will later clean up.

In light of our Mother’s Day wish that messes will magically disappear that day, I thought I’d share a few events around Phoenix where kids can make homemade gifts or share time in the kitchen with no mess for mom to clean up.  Here is a list of some activities scheduled in Phoenix that kids can enjoy one on one with mom or the entire family.

Mother’s Day may not be the only day you are looking for something to do with your children either, Although, it is an important one.  It is difficult when everyone has their own lives and such busy schedules to make one on one time together.  Another site worth visiting that has suggestions on all sorts of activities for kids, in Phoenix, or wherever you may be is Kid Pep.  Kid Pep lists a variety of activities for families with children and it’s not just limited to the Phoenix area.  It’s a resource you can refer to if you are traveling or perhaps we’ve captured a reader that is out of state.

From all of us at SmartFem.com, we wish you a beautiful, loving and relaxing Mother’s Day 2013.

AJ’s Fine Foods:

Locations throughout Phoenix Valley

AJ’s through-out the valley will be holding their Little Chefs Club event on Saturday, May 12th.  Each AJ’s will coordinate its own activity so you will need to check with your local store for times and the specific activity.  In the past, Little Chefs Club has decorated Mother’s Day cookies and made tiered cookie cakes.  There have also been events where children made heart shaped pizzas and cute homemade cards.

Sur La Table:

Scottsdale Fashion Center and Kierland locations

Sur La Table in Scottsdale Fashion Square and Kierland offer cooking classes all month long.  On Sunday, May 12^th, both stores will be holding a Mommy & Me Bake: Cupcakes class beginning at 11:00 am.  The cost is $35 per person and children ages 5 and up can attend the event.  This is well worth it as your little chef can frost to his heart’s content and the mess stays behind.  Space is still available and you can register for the event on line at the Sur La Table website.

Arizona Museum for Youth

35 N Robson, Mesa

Children ages 6-12 are invited to make a unique recipe holder and a lovespoon for their mother. The class is scheduled for one hour and begins at 10:30 am on Sunday, May 12^th. General admission to the museum is required and this special class is an additional $13.  Following the class, families can spend the remainder of the morning and afternoon in the museum.

As You Wish Pottery

Locations throughout Phoenix valley

On Mother’s Day, As You Wish Pottery is holding a special event where mothers and toddlers can paint together and create a ceramic plate.  Refreshments will be served in the shops and you can spend as much time as you like working on your masterpiece. The cost for the event is $25.  Remember the pieces do have to be fired so you will come back the following week to pick up your completed art work.

Lowe’s Home Improvement

Locations throughout Phoenix valley

Every other Saturday, Lowe’s holds a kids craft workshop.  You will need to check your local Lowe’s store to confirm times as they may vary slightly throughout the valley.  Most workshops begin at 10:00 am.  This Saturday, May 11^th, children work with a Lowe’s specialist to create a lovely heart shaped box for their beloved mothers.

 

Dear Linda…Easing up on Ego

Linda Gellman Levin holds a dual Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education and in Special Education.  In this new exclusive SmartFem column Linda will address your tough questions on the difficult and important job of raising children.  askLinda@SmartFem.com

Dear Linda,

My oldest is four and I’ve always made sure to tell him how proud I am of him and tried to make him feel empowered even if he didn’t do something very well. Then, if I see he has room for improvement I give him an “idea to try next time” so he can focus on areas to better himself. Lately I’ve noticed he is very convinced that he is already great at the things he does. He is so convinced that he sounds cocky. I’m concerned because he starts school next year and I’m afraid the other kids will tease him and burst his bubble. Do you have any suggestions on how to prevent a major heart break in my little boy? —Lindsay

Dear Lindsay,

First of all, your child is in an ego-centric stage of life, developmentally. That means he sees himself as the center of the universe. It is difficult for him to acknowledge that he may not be successful in a task. My suggestions are:

-   Watch out for suggesting anything negative about his character (i.e. being a good/bad/naughty boy). Praise him for accomplishing things such as good listening skills, following the rules, putting his toys away, etc.

-   Discuss what he is working on at that time, such as, if he throws a ball, you might suggest, “Show me how to roll a ball!” Then throw the ball with your right hand and show him which hand is his right hand. If he is doing a painting or doing an art project, don’t suggest it is “wonderful” or “fantastic.” Ask your son to tell you about the painting. This will help him express himself without it being about good/bad, right/wrong, etc.

-   Four year olds may share or brag about themselves at this stage of life. Don’t be so concerned about other kids teasing him, so much as modeling situations for him and working on that for now.

-   I would suggest that you might want to read more about four and five year olds developmentally.

Please send your questions to Linda via email at

askLinda@SmartFem.com

 

Dear Linda…From Picky Eaters to Boys and Barbies

Linda Gellman Levin holds a dual Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education and in Special Education.  In this new exclusive SmartFem column Linda will address your tough questions on the difficult and important job of raising children.  askLinda@SmartFem.com

Dear Linda,

My preschooler is a picky eater and I am worried she is not eating enough. What tips or suggestions do you have? — Danielle, Mother of a preschooler, Phoenix AZ.

Dear Danielle,

Set up a consistent time and place every day for nutritional meals. Please do not chase your child around the room with food as if it’s a game. Give a variety of foods to taste and try that are low in fat and high in nutrition like fruits, vegetables, and protein. Try to stay away from fast foods and high calorie or sugar items. Even if your child just tastes one item at a time, you do not want to not make it into a power struggle or a stressful experience..

As a parent, I used to hide the vegetables into soups, mashed potatoes, and meats. I also tried to be fun and creative by making a pancake and put blueberries, bananas, or strawberries into smiley faces. Look for recipes that are creative and make it an enjoyable meal. Review with your health care provider about the proper height and weight for your child.

Is it ok if my pre-school age son plays with his sister’s dolls? — John , father of two children, Gilbert, AZ.

Dear John,

During this developmental stage, children observe others in play and imitate the same behaviors. A doll can represent a baby or child that may one day help them with nurturing their sibling, friend, or eventually parenting his or her own child.  By exploring through play, preschoolers need to learn how to be gentle, kind, caring, and nurturing. Preschoolers believe that sex differences are based on appearances or behaviors not biological factors. A boy may think he can turn into a girl or a girl may think she can be a daddy one day. Not until a child is 4 or 5 years old are they able to understand Gender Constancy, which means people are permanently male or female.

My daughter is not always kind to other children at her preschool program. When do children learn to the meaning of empathy? — Barb, Mother of a 4 year old, Scottsdale, AZ

Dear Barb,

Empathy, according to Developmentalists, develops at an early age. Even one year old infants will cry if they hear another infant crying. A 2 or 3 year old child will offer you a hug, present, or want to share something with you, such as a toy if you are feeling sad or upset (ZAHN-WEXLER AND RADKE-YARROW, 1990). Event throughout the preschool years, empathy and other emotions, like sympathy and admiration, will begin to develop.

 

Please send your questions for Linda via email to askLinda@SmartFem.com

Dear Linda…Linda Tackles Mother-Daughter Relationships

Linda Gellman Levin holds a dual Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education and in Special Education.  In this new exclusive SmartFem column Linda will address your tough questions on the difficult and important job of raising children.  askLinda@SmartFem.com

Dear Linda,

I have problems relating to my teenage daughter, we always seem to be in some type of conflict on a weekly basis. Do you have any advice?

Diane, Scottsdale, AZ

 

Dear Diane,

Mother-daughter relationships can be very complex, emotional, and diverse. The culture, religion, and country we are born in can shape our values, attitudes, and beliefs systems. If our mother worked or was a stay-at home mother it can also affect how we role-modeled or shaped our daughters. Each generation and the history of the impact of the Feminist movement, TV, movies, books, newspapers, and magazines impact our body image and sexuality.

Some relationships are very close while others experience hurt, disappointment, poor communication, jealousy, or competition. After conducting workshops on mother/daughter relationships for middle school and high school ages and also being a mother of two daughters, I read and researched some ideas and suggestions from Margarita Tartakovsky M.S. article on 15 Insights On Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships.

 

Here are some suggestions from myself and other professionals:

• Change yourself rather than your daughter. Change your reactions and responses.

• I feel it’s important to be pro-active versus reactive. Take a time out and think before you speak because you might feel so emotionally charged YOU might react angrily and say something that you will regret.

• Create realistic expectations. Margarita feels that as young children we think a mother will be nurturing and present on a continual basis. This idealistic expectation may not always be present.

• “Make the first move so the relationship does not get stuck,” stated Linda Mittle PHD. She wants you to think about how you feel and what you can do to change.

•  I feel that as a working mother, it was important that I apologized to my daughters when I was tired or in a bad mood

• Try to communicate in a constructive manner not destructive. It is so important to share thoughts and feelings in a positive way instead of a harsh or negative tone of voice. Ask open ended questions such as, “Tell me three interesting things you learned in some of your classes,” or ask her how to do something that you never learned in school.

• Become an active listener or empathic listener. COHEN-SANDLER said that when you reflect back what your daughter said, then she is being heard and you understand her and her feelings.

• Try to remember what it is like to be a young girl or teen. Think about what you went through with your appearance, intelligence, body image, school work, sports etc. Although we were raised in a different generation, try to respect and understand her generation but still guide her in a calm and respectful way.

•  Use “I” statements about how you feel without attacking her and her character, by saying things like. “I feel hurt when you speak to me in a rude tone of voice,” or “Let’s take a break and re-group and talk later.” Try not to bring up the past and rehash old arguments.

• Respect each other’s boundaries. If you want time to talk, set up a schedule that works for both of you. If you are on the phone, let your daughter know when you can come into her room to talk and vice versa. Do not walk into her room without knocking first. Ask each other if it’s a good time to talk.

Do not bring in third parties like dad or another sibling to work out your issues. Go to a counselor if you need additional guidance. 

Please send your questions to Linda via email at

askLinda@SmartFem.com

Catherine Anaya, How Does She Do It? The Life of a Superwoman

Written by Lea Haben.

I feel very blessed doing what I do, as I have the opportunity to meet and interview so many amazing people. I recently attended a charity luncheon for MASK (Mother’s Awareness on School-aged Kids) and heard Catherine Anaya, news anchor at CBS 5 News, speaking to the audience. Catherine shared with us what a day looks like in her hectic, high profile life and made me appreciate my own life a little more. Catherine, like so many of us, is juggling a busy career and still trying to be the hands-on mom who makes dinner, drives to soccer practice and helps with homework.

What impressed me with Catherine was the fact that the children come first. She moved from Scottsdale to be closer to work so she could make and spend the dinner hour with her children. It’s so funny to know that she rushes home to make dinner, sometimes changes a light bulb, and plays referee with the children only to get back in the car, drive to work and deliver our nightly news perfectly. She makes it all look so very easy, but her schedule is one that only a superwoman could endure. I think I also forgot to mention that she runs marathons… Seriously is there anything she can’t do?

Catherine has an organization she started a few years ago called Sisterhood of the Superwoman which hosts a monthly luncheon and brings women together to help out smaller charities who don’t have the big names and big budgets of the larger well-known organizations.

I am happy to say that Catherine is just as compassionate, fun and caring as the persona you see on the news every night. I really enjoyed my time with her and wanted to let women know about her Superwoman lunches and how to be a part of them. It is so wonderful to see a woman of influence who gives back so much and inspires other women as well.

I asked her for one  piece of advice for new mothers and her answer was to take time for yourself. In order to be the best mom and career woman, you need time to recharge your own batteries. As a busy mom of three I can’t say how right she is about this.

If you want to do something for yourselves ladies I would suggest that you attend one of the Sisterhood of the Superwomen lunches, as you will meet some fabulous friends, help a charity in need and you might just find a little inspiration like I did.

To find out more information check out Catherine’s website at www.sisterhoodofsuperwomen.com

 

Dear Linda…

Linda Gellman Levin holds a dual Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education and in Special Education.  In this new exclusive SmartFem column Linda will address your tough questions on the difficult and important job of raising children.  askLinda@SmartFem.com

Dear Linda,

Why is it if you have two children raised in the same house, with all the same privileges, that they can be remarkably different? — Lisa, a mother and RN (Phoenix, AZ)

This is a puzzling question and very interesting to families. First of all, we are all born with different personalities, traits, temperaments, intelligence, and health issues that can be either similar or different from our siblings. Looking at three generations on both sides of the families can affect our DNA and can contribute to our abilities, looks, athletic traits, artistic, intelligent quotients, musical, learning styles, or mental health.

Even though we think we are giving our children the same opportunities or privileges or parenting styles, that doesn’t necessary mean our children will react the same way or experience it in the same emotional state. What we say to one child may be heard differently with another child. We need to know that we are all different people even though we came from the same parents, and we need to be parented in a different parenting style than the other sibling in order to feel loved and cared for.

What is the best Parenting Style when disciplining a child? — Denise, mother of two daughters (Paradise Valley, AZ)

According to the research by Diana Baumrind, the best style of parenting is called ‘AUTHORITATIVE ‘ OR DEMOCRATIC. Parents make reasonable demands on their child, and they enforce them by setting rules, setting limits, and insisting that the child obey. At the same time they express warmth and affection, listen patiently to the child’s point of view, and encourage the child to participate in family decision-making.

Do you think spanking a child is the right form of discipline? — Ken, father of three small children (Glendale AZ)

Child Psychologists have various views on spanking. Most research indicates that spanking teaches a child to be aggressive and violent, and that it does not teach a young child the true meaning of his/her actions. Spanking is often a release for the parent who feels frustrated and unable to cope with the young child’s behavior. I feel a “ time out”(depending on the age) can be effective and parents can also take a time out to think before being reactive. Giving two choices and re-directing a child to do something else, like not touching something and taking them into another room and giving them a toy instead to play with, can be effective. It’s praising a child for appropriate behavior instead of telling them when they are always acting out.

Please send your questions to Linda via email at

askLinda@SmartFem.com

Personal Safety Tips from a SmartFem Expert

Staying safe in public is vital…Especially during the Spring, when the weather is nice and families are out having fun in large crowds and populated venues.

It’s that time of year again in Arizona – Cactus League Spring Training! While it’s great fun to take in a game with friends and family, it’s also a time to be aware of your personal safety when you’re in public.

Here are a few tips to help keep you and your family safe while enjoying the games.

 

Driving to and from the game

• Keep your car in good running order

• Plan your route in advance

• Drive with the doors locked and windows rolled up

• Carpooling is a safe alternative to driving alone

• Don’t stop if another driver tries to force you off the road

Parking:

• Choose well-lit parking areas

• If you have to bring valuables, keep them locked in the trunk

• Always remove the keys and lock the doors

• Be alert in underground or enclosed parking garages

Walking

• Avoid walking alone. Be confident & walk with purpose

• Choose busy, well-lit walkways and pedestrian flow to and from the parking lots

• Walk facing traffic to see approaching cars

• Earphones make you less able to sense potential danger

• Keep valuables in an inside pocket and, if you have to bring your purse, hold it under your arm so it is harder to snatch

Returning To Your Car:

•Have your keys ready before getting to your car

• Be aware of occupied cars around you

• If you carry packages, keep one hand free

• Check inside and around your car before unlocking the door

 

Automated Teller Machines (ATM’s)

• Memorize your PIN number

• Have everything ready before arriving

• Be aware of people loitering and sitting in parked cars who may be watching customers transact business

• Never use an ATM after dark

Public Transportation

• Locate well-lit and frequently used bus stops

• Check schedules in advance

• Do not wait alone

• Sit near the driver on busses

• Immediately report incidents of verbal or physical harassment to the driver

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