Dealing with Guilt as a Working Mom
One of the biggest challenges since becoming a mom almost 8 years ago has been battling mom guilt. For those who aren’t familiar, mom guilt is the negative feeling of doubt or anxiousness experienced by mothers when they feel they’re falling short of expectations. For me, nothing has made me feel more guilty than being a working mom.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. I love being creative and putting my strengths to good use. The problem comes when doing so interferes with my time as a mom. As soon as I feel empowered enough to start a new project, an overwhelming feeling comes over me to take it all away.
While I’m no expert, I’ve had more than 7 years’ experience dealing with this phenomenon that millions of moms around the world deal with. So, I’m sharing some of my tips on how I overcome it. Below are some easy ways I deal with mom guilt as a working mom.
Trust your intuition
This last summer, I decided to lower my work expectations to be a stay at home mom with my daughter. After all, one of the reasons I left my corporate job was to be available to her time off school. In short, this summer wasn’t what either one of us wanted or expected.
Somehow, being home with her while I did some work wasn’t empowering either one of us. It turns out, my daughter would have enjoyed time away from home and with other children a lot more. I realized that being a stay at home mom wasn’t fulfilling my creative desires. It was a learning experience, to say the least.
Focus on quality time
Sometimes, we think spending every waking moment with our children will help us overcome mom guilt when in reality, it’s the opposite. Like with my slow summer, both my daughter and I would have been a lot happier if the focus would have been on quality instead of quantity.
Plan activities around your schedule that your kids would appreciate. These are the memories they’ll hold on to for years to come. Instead of focusing on what you’re not giving them, celebrate what you are.
Ask for help
One of my biggest weaknesses is not asking for help enough. Like many moms, I feel the unrealistic desire of having to do everything for everyone. Asking for help can lower your expectations of having to show up for everything.
Whether it’s picking up your child from school, taking them to soccer practice, or helping them with their homework. Surround yourself with people who are willing to show up for your kids when you’re not able to.