6 Ways to Rekindle the Flame in a Long-Term Relationship

After you’ve been with the same person for a long time, things can get a little stale. You might not find your partner that mysterious any more after living with them and seeing them at their worst. Or maybe you still find yourself attracted and interested in your partner, but you’ve fallen into a routine. You both come home from your jobs, watch Netflix, and then fall asleep.

Shot of a young couple having breakfast together at home

It doesn’t have to be that way! With a little mindfulness, you can enjoy your relationship and feel like it’s the early days when you both were both on your best behavior. Here are some of the best ways to rekindle the flame of a long-term relationship.

  1. Go all out on Valentine’s Day

Look, if you’ve been together with your partner for several years, Valentine’s Day can seem a little over-the-top. Maybe both of you have agreed to stop celebrating it and barely remember when February 14th comes around. Perhaps this Valentine’s Day, you can do things a little differently.  Instead of ignoring this much-maligned holiday, make a point to go all out. Ensure your S.O. gets a Valentine’s Day delivery of flowers.

Surprise your loved one with an invitation to a fully planned-out date night. You don’t have to go to a restaurant, maybe just plan a picnic with all your favorite foods and a bottle of something bubbly and delicious.

  1. Keep a journal to write notes in it to each other

Leave a nice notebook out and agree to write messages back and forth to each other each day. You can write summaries of your days, notes about your plans, and questions. It’s a great, easy bonding technique. If you’re feeling extra creative, you can even doodle your thoughts!

  1. Start cooking together

Whether you buy meal kit plans or take an in-person cooking class, food is the fastest way to a person’s heart. If you’re looking to sharpen up your skills in the kitchen, what better way to do it than with the person you love most in the world? Even if you typically don’t have time during the week to pull out all the stops and cook dinner together, you can try to cook during the weekend and meal prep.

There are plenty of ways to incorporate your love of food into your relationship. Who knows? Maybe you can secretly learn how to cook a fancy dish and surprise your S.O. with your chef skills one evening! The possibilities are endless.

  1. Take up crafting

Love painting? Turn on a Bob Ross episode, get out that easel, and start creating your next masterpiece. Alternatively, you can take a class or do something simpler together like a paint-by-the-numbers kit. In the end, you can critique each other’s paintings!

Or, maybe find another craft you like such as building birdhouses or feral cat shelters. There are plenty of fun craft ideas on websites like Pinterest if you need some creative inspiration.

  1. Volunteer together

Time spent together making memories is important. Why not spend some time together by volunteering for your local charity? You can pick up shifts at the local animal shelter, visit a nursing home, or serve food at a homeless shelter.

  1. Plan an awesome vacation

Traveling is one of the best ways to have fun and bond. If a big anniversary is coming up, why not splurge on a fun, exciting trip? You can do a backpacking excursion across Europe, a beach relaxation getaway in Mexico, or go sightseeing in Canada. Whatever you choose, make sure the trip reflects both of your interests.


After you’ve been with the same person for a while, it can be hard to keep things as exciting as they once were. But with a little creativity and thoughtfulness, you and your partner can breathe life into your normal, humdrum routine.

Whether you take a trip across the world, start up a new painting class, volunteer at a local hospital, or start a journal, there are plenty of ways to show your partner you still love him or her. Incorporate a few of the tips mentioned in our guide and you’ll be on your way to a happy, healthy relationship.