Ladies, your girlfriends can be some of the best friends you will ever have in your life. They will be there to laugh with you, to take you on adventures, to support you, to push you to be the best you can be, and to love you unconditionally. When these girlfriends of yours get into relationships, you naturally feel happy for them, hopefully approving of their new man, and then you and your best gal pal continue your relationship with this new addition. That is how it’s supposed to go right? Well, sadly, that’s not always what happens.
I know of a plethora of women who turn into the worst friends when in a relationship. They start ignoring you, make plans without you, plan their life around their new man only, and begin acting differently towards you. Now, thankfully I have not encountered any girlfriends like this yet (although I’m sure it’s bound to happen sooner or later), but I know someone who has. Actually, this person had lost one of her closest friends because she “dumped her” for her boyfriend. This lady just so happens to be my mother, and she was kind enough to share her story with me here on SmartFem.com. As I retell this story from my mother’s perspective, I will use different names in order to protect the identities of the people involved. Here is the story of how my mother got dumped by her best friend for a new man…
Sarah and I became friends when our children were young. We met at a mother’s fitness gym, and automatically hit it off. We would see each other weekly at the gym, enjoying our workouts together as our kids played in the daycare center. After working out together for a few months, we decided to have a play-date with our kids.
From that first play-date on, Sarah and I became inseparable best friends. We did practically everything together, as often as we could. We spent holidays together with our families, we went out to clubs and bars together, we had many play-date sessions with our kids, we confided in each other before anyone else, and we supported each other the ways friends do.
We had been the best of friends for three years when Sarah had decided to divorce her husband. It was a hard time for her and her daughter, and I supported her throughout the entire process. It was an unpleasant divorce, and I was with her every step of the way. It was an exhausting process, even for me, but I dealt with it because I loved Sarah and wanted to be the best friend I could be for her during this difficult time.
It wasn’t until Sarah began to date again, that she started to change. She met this guy, Josh, shortly after her divorce and “fell for him instantly” as she claims. He was a nice guy for the first couple of months, but started becoming too controlling as time went on. Sarah would call me and cry that he wasn’t treating her right. She would keep me up for hours at night asking for advice and support, wanting to know what I would do if in her shoes. When we spent time together all she would do was complain about him and wonder why she was “cursed” when it came to men.
After a while, she completely stopped caring about what was happening in my life, and just wanted to focus the conversation on her and her problems. Now, I am not usually a patient woman, but she was my best friend, and I figured she would get over it sooner or later and we would just pick up our normal relationship where it left off. Well, little did I know that the better her relationship got with Josh, the worse our friendship became.
A few more months passed and little by little her relationship with Josh improved as our’s fell apart. She started ignoring my calls, canceling our plans when things “came up” in her life, greatly decreased the play-dates our kids had, and spent all of her time with her boyfriend. Again, she was my best friend, so I was a little more forgiving of her actions. It wasn’t until she until she insulted both my children and myself with her careless actions that I decided enough was enough.
It was the in the fall, when Sarah, her daughter, my son and daughter, and I had planned to head to Prescott to attend our favorite October festival. We had attended three years in a row, and wanted to continue our tradition. Our kids loved going, and I figured it would be a great opportunity for us to reconnect. It was one day before our trip to Prescott when Sarah called me to cancel our plans. She had claimed her daughter had gotten sick, and that she just found out she also had work obligations that had recently arisen. Now, as you can imagine, I was pissed. I has already taken time off of work, booked a hotel, and gotten my car checked for the drive up there. I furiously hung up the phone and reassured my children that we would attend the festival, just not the next day. I needed time to cool off.
A couple days later I found out that Sarah had gone to the festival in Prescott with her daughter and Josh instead, canceling on us so she could go with him instead. I lost it. She had dumped me for her boyfriend and I was not having it. A real friend would have never done that, a real friend would not have blatantly insulted her best friend and her best friend’s kids. I called her up and told her just how terrible her actions were. Instead of feeling awful and apologizing/begging for forgiveness, she proceeded to insult ME over and over, tell me how awful of a friend I was, and said that I was making an issue out of nothing…
Want to know what I did? I told Sarah to lose my number, lose my address, burn all of our pictures, throw away all the presents I every gave her, and told her to jump off of the nearest bridge. I was done with her, and never wanted her or her awful personality in my life again.
I never heard from Sarah again after that day, and hope it stays that way for the rest of my life.
The moral of my mother’s story ladies, is to treat your friends the way you want them to treat you, and please, don’t ever dump your girlfriends for a guy. There should be enough room in your heart for your friends and for your man.