A lot of excitement comes along with the idea of dating, especially when it comes to “serious” and “long-term” relationships. Plenty of people are overly eager to find their next boyfriend/girlfriend and fall deeply in love with them. It is almost an inevitable desire ingrained in us at an early age…
Since the beginning of time society has motivated its inhabitants to find their mate, settle down, and procreate. Even in today’s day and age, in cultures around the world, men and women are looked at as incomplete if they are unmarried by their late twenties/early thirties. Thus, many cultures have practices like arranged marriages. Not that these practices are wrong or immoral in any way, but if a person is looking to fall in love and get married on their own, they need to realize that it takes time to find real love.
Thus the point is brought up… it is extremely important to wait before jumping right into a new, serious relationship. Many people do not understand why waiting is such an essential factor to making a relationship a heathy one. They don’t understand that a little (or a lot) of extra time at the very beginning of a budding relationship can make all the difference. This extra time can save you from wasting effort on another person, and can help you understand a potential lover before you commit anything to them.
Here is a list of information that should be found out before completely committing to another person.
- Do you have the same interests?
- What are their stances on issues/topics that matter to you?
- Are they where they need to be (emotionally, financially, and physically) in this portion of their life?
- Do your personalities mesh well together?
- Do they have any criminal history?
- Do they carry any baggage (Ex’s, kids, emotional issues, etc.) that you wouldn’t be able to handle?
- What is their relationship to their family?
- What kind of people do they hang out with?
- Do they have any traits that are “deal-breakers?”
- Do they get along with your friends and family?
- Do you think they will be worth your time?
This list may seem a bit extensive when it comes to first meting someone, however, it will do its job. These questions are meant to be found out over time, maybe taking a month or two to TRULY know who you are letting into your life. Think about it this way, if someone were to knock on your front door, would you open it fully before checking who it was? No, you would first look through a peephole or window, maybe crack the door open, and then possibly let them inside. Relationships aren’t much different from this.
Play it safe, get to know who you are casually dating, and then officially make them your boyfriend/girlfriend. Chances are that things will work out just fine!